You know how I mentioned two weeks ago that things were picking up on my end? Well, they did, and I got a little lost along the way. I noticed this week that when things get really overwhelming, I like to run away. It shows up in the form of retail therapy and mentally checking out which leaves me with a sense of self-abandonment. Interestingly, I think this is the first time I describe it that way.

So after a night of much needed sleep, I awoke this morning with the intention of doing something creative as a form of spending time with myself. I sat at my desk and flipped through a few issues of The New Yorker and came across this image of a lone-standing Titan payphone in New York City.

The map featured on the payphone’s side reminded me of a directory I once saw at a bus stop near my parents’ house. It read “You are here,” but the image was missing. Looking at it then, I took it as metaphor for my own life; I existed but did not know where I was headed.

This, and the memory of another time in Boston, made it clear that I was going to work with this image for my collage. At first glance, I envisioned black random lines around the payphone to symbolize chaos and the unknown. When taking a marker to it I accidentally blacked out all resemblance to the original image, but it eventually made sense.

In the end I was left with a collage that unintentionally captures how I perceive my personal world as of now—in the midst of chaos and uncertainty, I am here. I exist.

Interestingly enough, the collage emphasizes existence, not the unknown. The way I see it, it is a reminder that I am in fact alive. That, in the midst of all of this, I exist.

And I think that is something to be hopeful about.