I woke up with a migraine this morning and wasn’t feeling like interacting with people. Normally, whenever I see someone come toward me on the street, I smile (whether I want to or not) out of habit. It’s a deeply ingrained habit, one I’ve picked up from growing up in Southern California but also from being a woman (unfortunately, society taught me I had to be nice to people). So there are times when I find myself smiling at people when I have no desire to do so, particularly at men.

I’ve been in a situation where I unknowingly smiled at a guy who later went on to repeatedly sexually harass me and other women at my apartment complex. I look back and feel stupid for having been “nice” and even helpful when he asked me a question the first time I encountered him.

I guess I’m frustrated with the expectation I put on myself to be nice to people and smile at them even if they don’t smile at me. It’s exhausting, and I’m coming to realize that I don’t like it.

So, today as I walked back to my apartment, I came across a man in the parking lot. Right as we passed each other I said to myself, “I don’t have to smile at anybody.” And so I didn’t. And it felt good.

For those of you who feel like you have to put on a show for others, you don’t have to smile at anybody.

More about the artwork: On that walk back to my apartment I also saw the setting sun create silhouettes of what I thought were signature elements of Southern California–palm trees, electric poles, and the surrounding mountains. I used Caran D’ache crayons for the drawings and Posca marker for the text. I made this into a greeting card and will be sending it out to a childhood friend soon. I think she’s going to like it.